Lie, Cheat, and Steal: The Only Way the Challenge Works (I Guess)

It has taken me a full week to collect my thoughts on last week’s episode of The Challenge: Battle of the Exes 2, but here goes.

All season long I’ve been playing MTV’s game. Watching the Exile Challenges religiously, in gleeful anticipation of the day Johnny Bananas would return to the Challenge House to resume his ‘rightful’ place as King of the Castle.

Well, I got that moment last week, and it was nothing like I assumed it would be. I thought I’d be happy. I thought it would shake things up, re-inject strong competitors into the house (both of which it definitely did), and add a whole new dimension to this season’s Challenge. I thought the impact would be entirely positive. However, now that we’re here I can’t help but feel cheated, disappointed, and outright upset at how things have worked out.

To start with, the Exile “battles” themselves were HORRENDOUSLY disappointing throughout. In fact, they were so miserable that I wonder if MTV didn’t call an audible midway through once they realized what a valuable asset they had in the form of Johnny Bananas in Exile. You see, I assumed the Exile Champion, whoever it may have been, would come back right after the crop of competitors in the House had been cut to 3. That way the remaining house competitors would have assumed they had clinched a spot in the Final only to have a monkey wrench (get it? monkey? Banana?) thrown into their plans. Instead, MTV seemed to pull the trigger early, releasing the baboon from his cage while their were still 4 teams in the house. This in turn bumped the number of total teams back to 5 and effectively serves to merely drag out the show, rather than making it more exciting.

Moreover, when I first heard of the concept of being in Exile I knew that the people in Exile would invariably be, in large part, rejects and washouts who I didn’t care about early on. People not tough enough to compete and make it on the Challenge. But eventually I assumed they would have some heavyweights fighting off camera in Exile. Instead I got Bananas and Nany digging a coconut and a deflated soccer ball out of a hole with bamboo sticks for a couple weeks…. awesome… way to go MTV… followed by MTV promptly blowing its wad the first chance they got… they got ONE heavyweight matchup between Bananas and Zach and IMMEDIATELY reintroduced the winner to the house.

What MTV should have done is keep the Exiles going until there were only 3 teams left in the house. At that point they would transport all 3 House teams to the location of the Final and secretly bring the Exile Champions there as well. Then, just before the start of the Final, it would be revealed that an Exile team was reentering the competition, and the 4 teams would need to somehow compete and eliminate one of them just before the Final began. This is the only logical progression they could have made if they wanted to build on last season’s formula where, right before the Free Agents Final began, CT and Bananas and Theresa and Laurel, were forced to compete against one another for a single spot in the Final (and CT and Theresa were arbitrarily and unfairly sent home).

See, the problem is that MTV gave the Exiled team a chance to play Politicks once more, rather than just giving them a second chance at the money. Its one thing to give Bananas, or any Challenger, a second chance to compete physically, but its another thing ENTIRELY to allow them back in the house to participate in Politicks. This is unacceptable because invariably the team which has thus far performed the best in Politicks will have made the most enemies throughout the course of the show. These enemies, then, will have become Exile competitors and odds are whoever returned from Exile was going to hate the top Politickal team, and the team most deserving of a Finals appearance… aka Wes and Theresa. Allowing this newly reintroduced Exile team, then, to spin the house against your former front-runners is simply unfair.

It is particularly unfair to Theresa who, it now appears, will be robbed of a Finals appearance after a stellar season long performance two seasons in a row. But is also unfair to Wes, who has played, hands down, the best Politickal game I have EVER seen on the Challenge. Better than anything Kenny ever did. Better than Evan. Better than Bananas himself. It is also unfair to Leroy who has done nothing but prove he deserves to be in this house, and Nia who has done more to deserve a Finals spot than any girl this season. This sucks because it completely ruins the payoff of the greatest challenge episode I had ever seen. The Power Move Wes engineered against Johnny Bananas in episode 5 was, hands down, the best Challenge Power Move I have EVER seen or WILL EVER see. The way he won Leroy to his side after forcing Leroy to eliminate Bananas was MASTERY AT ITS FINEST. And now MTV is going to send either he or Leroy home when both deserve a finals run more than anyone on this miserable season. Some reward, huh?

This season of the Challenge had the best Challenge episode I have ever seen and one of the most shocking, exciting moments I have ever watched in the history of the series, and by bringing Bananas back and allowing him to destroy everything which that moment built towards pissed all over that moment. MTV ruined this season for me.

And again, I find myself particularly sad for Theresa. Last season on Free Agents she was thrown off the show right before the Final, and now this season she has to watch as someone whom she rightfully and skillfully eliminated from the show is given a second chance at life when she, in the recent past… aka just last season… had a Final appearance she had rightfully earned arbitrarily and unfairly stripped from her at the last possible moment, and was given no such second chance at redemption.

But this isn’t just about MTV ruining their own product, and botching one of the best Challenge seasons yet. Last year I wrote some very glowing remarks about Johnny Bananas. Three different articles covering the overall story-arc of how I thought he had changed. How I believed he had evolved from Anti-hero to true Hero. He was the Champion of the Old Guard and one of the last vestiges of the Challenge I grew up with, the Challenge as I knew it and learned to love it. The Real World Road Rules Challenges. He was a scumbag back then but, to me, had turned the corner during Free Agents. His battles against Jordan, a character who I felt stood for everything wrong with the Challenge, were legendary and inspiring. He had become someone I was willing to follow, to root for, and to cheer on, when in the past he was always someone I reviled, and in whose failure I reveled. Now, however, he was to be my new Champion. But I was wrong.

Bananas lambasted and shamed Leroy when Leroy tried to come with him to discuss how the game played out thus far. Despicable. He will do ANYTHING to win himself, but criticized others for trying to do the same. He is a hypocrite and a coward.

 

Bananas never changed. He is not a hero. Bananas is a coward and a scumbag. The way he mistreated Leroy was absolutely inexcusable. The way he allied himself with Jordan (whom he allegedly hates, or so we were led to believe all last year) and threw his friend Leroy (whom he is not just friends with on the show, but actually trains with in the offseason) under the bus, just because he got pissy that Leroy did EXACTLY WHAT HE WOULD HAVE DONE IF GIVEN THE SAME CIRCUMSTANCES is bullshit. When Bananas went home (admittedly at Leroy’s own hand, but NOT of Leroy’s own volition) Leroy did what he could to ensure his survival in the house. His only ally was gone, and he had to recalibrate. He played a smart game. And once his “friend” returned to the house (a situation you may have assumed would favor Leroy), he found himself with a freaking machete in his back… Moreover, the fact that Bananas did all this using Jordan and Sarah as his pawns was absolutely disgusting. So he’s going to abandon his friend, throw him into an elimination, but attempt to avoid getting any blood on his own two hands? No. Unacceptable. Johnny Bananas is a coward, a traitor, and a despicable liar. He has always been a scum bag. And he always will be a scum bag. He is beyond redemption.

I realize this type of hyperbole has no place here, but Judas dined with Jesus the night before he betrayed him too, Bananas. Just like to let you know the kind of company you keep.

And Sarah and Jordan… I’m out… I’m done. Jordan I have always hated. No news there. He’s the same old arrogant, entitled jerk he’s always been. But to see the way Sarah whores herself out in hopes of winning a championship that never has (and I now hope never will) come is sickening. I’m done rooting for her. I’m done making excuses for her when she makes herself throw up during a Challenge to garner sympathy when the REAL problem is that she’s simply too weak to persevere. I’m tired of watching her talk about how “fun” and “awesome” life on Challenges is only to see her team fail and screw up on every single Challenge. I’m done. Sarah, I hope you never win one of these things. You’re weak, cowardly, and undeserving.

I don’t know who will win this season, But I do know that it probably won’t be either of the teams in the Dome tonight. However, I’ll be rooting for whoever comes out of this Dome. As far as I’m concerned Leroy and Nia and Wes and Theresa are the only two teams that deserve to win this thing at this point. Wes and Theresa played a masterful Politickal game all season long, putting themselves in a position where, no matter how the overall atmosphere of the house changed, no matter how the tectonic plates of the Challenge shifted, they were always safe. What they’ve done should only be rewarded. Instead it is being punished.

Leroy and Nia have fought and scraped for their lives in this Challenge all season long. They’ve defended themselves in Domes, and even “Eliminated” (should have been forever but turned out to only be temporary) the top competitors on this season. [And let’s dwell on that point for a second… all the other couples this season had more or less real, on camera relationships to justify their partnerships. Bananas and Nany, on the other hand, have what, for all I know, is a completely fabricated relationship that noone can verify and that even TJ seemed skeptical of in the opening episode. They were a team created to win this season and especially for this season. Everyone else had to deal with past circumstances, while Bananas and Nany were given a golden pairing… and Leroy and Nia STILL whooped their asses…].

No-one has more on their resume in terms of physical performance than Leroy and Nia in terms of why they deserve to win this thing. They played a game without friends and allies for large stretches of time, and simply fought their way to survival in wildly impressive fashion. And now their fate is thrown into the hands of two cowardly, inferior scumbags.

And now only one of these teams has even the remotest chance of making a Final. I call bullshit. I just hope MTV hasn’t done so much damage to their own product that we can’t salvage even a scrap of respectability and justice from this season, and at least put the winner of this Dome into the Final.

What MTV did this season was wrong. They horribly mismanaged a situation which otherwise could have been one of their best marketing ploys in the history of the Challenge. This is also depressing because the Challenge is obviously struggling in ratings. MTV has bumped them all the way back to the 11pm EST graveyard timeslot (a place shows go to die…), they started this “Exile” gimmick in hopes of driving more traffic to their website to save the show, and they’re now even putting episodes of the show on Youtube, free of MTV’s own oppressive online ad system in an attempt to drive viewers back to the show. The Challenge is in a dangerous position and may be ending right before our eyes. And in the midst of all that, MTV went against their own product, and unjustly changed the dynamics of the competition mid stream without any form of protection for people who had played the game correctly AND ENTERTAINED AUDIENCES all season long. I hope something good comes out of this season, but at this point I don’t have much hope left.

I guess sometimes relapse is stronger than redemption, stupidity and selfishness are just stronger than logic and justice, and the bad guys just win.

Challenge Corpse Theory: Making the Leap From ‘Top Tier’ to ‘Elite’ as a Challenger

There’s a famous line from the First World War wherein various German officers (generally attributed to Erich Von Ludendorff) are said to have described their dismal position in the war in regards to their allies was akin to being “shackled to a corpse.” The idea here was that Germany, by all accounts an economically and militarily powerful nation, was being dragged down toward defeat by her decrepit allies (particularly the Austro-Hungarian Empire, but also the Ottoman Empire of the Turks). Ok, so I’ll stop with the history lesson, but the idea is that in any intense competition, you generally don’t want a worthless competitor around, unless they’re dragging your opponent down.

The Challenge, however, has developed a culture over the years that views “corpses” a little differently. Somewhere around the rise to power of Kenny/Evan/Bananas a theory of Challenge strategy began to solidify. This strategy centers around the idea that top tier competitors should do their best to ensure that one of the worst competitors in the field makes it to a final so that the top competitors have at least 1 push over competitor who they can beat in said final, thus ensuring themselves a greater portion of the winner’s purse.

 

Now, often this involved a late game back-stab. This strategy was put into practice by who else but Kenny and Evan. And hilariously enough they would use it more often than not to backstab Bananas at the last second. They would form a 4 man alliance of Kenny, Evan, Bananas, and Adam King (he of the “I will eat your face” fame).

Kenny, Evan, and Bananas would form a practically unbeatable alliance of powerful contenders, then drag Adam along for the ride, telling him it was because they liked him (obvious lie) and telling each other it was so that in case one of them messed up and got thrown into elimination, they could challenge Adam instead of an actual contender, and ensure that they would be able to come back to the house. What they would actually do, however, is bring Adam along to the finals, and find a way to back-stab Bananas right at the end. That was the plan anyway. And that stuff worked more or less. One of those 3 would at least be in a position where they could win a final thanks to their skillful dragging along of their token corpse.

This strategy is also present on this season. Perhaps you’ve been asking yourselves, “man… how the heck are Jay and Jenna still on this season? They’re TERRIBLE! They haven’t done anything well all season outside of that trivia win last week, and that one time Jenna started inexplicably doing bikini cartwheels by the pool.” Well, my friends, this is your answer. Jay and Jenna are being dragged along by any one of the top contenders. At first it was Wes (who always surrounds himself with a human shield of rookies) then it was Zach (because he was banging Jenna) and finally [shockingly enough] Leroy.

Leroy Rising

Everyone on this show who is worth their salt understands that this is a top level strategy. When executed correctly it can help you pocket an extra ten grand here and there, so clearly its something that should be kept in mind, even though it means pushing an undeserving team through to a Final and hurts the overall viewing product for fans. But playing the game this way (with your head) rather than irrationally, emotionally, and without strategy, is the sign of a real winner and a real top contender, and I believe we are watching Leroy’s birth into the vaunted heights of Challenge Valhalla.

Leroy has been an obvious physical specimen since day one of his rookie season on The Challenge: Rivals where he dragged Michael Ross all the way to a Final in their Rookie season. Not a bad start to a career.

From the very start Leroy understood that when you had a weak partner you needed to build up their confidence and carry them through the competition. This is a must, and every great team Challenger has understood this, so the fact that Leroy understood that at the start (with Michael) and kept it up to this day (with Nia) was an obvious sign of his promise. His biggest failing, however, was always his inability, or refusal to play Politicks. He does everything else right. He builds up his partners. He understands who to keep around and how to seize an opportunity to eliminate a strong contender. He didn’t allow emotion to cloud his judgement with Jay and Jenna when they are so much more valuable to him as a corpse than gone. Heck, he even trains with Bananas in the off-season for these things (and really, it has been so obvious to see that he comes from the Bananas School in this season… but I digress). So Nia was right to congratulate him during their Power Couple dinner (also, lol fried chicken) for finally learning to play Politicks, because that very well could have been the last piece of the puzzle needed for Leroy to begin a reign of absolute dominance and terror on these shows.

But for all Leroy has achieved, and all the progress he has made from a Challenge with supreme promise and natural gifts, to a real member of Challenge Valhalla, may very well have been overshadowed by the Ginger-Haired Genious Wes Bergmann. Wes proved during this episode that he is hands down the greatest villain this show has ever seen, maybe even ever. Forget Sauron, forget Voldemort, forget Hannibal Lector, Darth Vader, and the freaking Terminator himself. Wes is scarier than any of those guys in his element, and the way he maneuvered Leroy into a win win situation for himself was absolutely masterful. The man is an evil genius.  The best Villain of all time.

While Wes was solidifying his position and Leroy’s star continues to ascend as he puts more and more pieces of the picture together, however, there has been another “top tier” competitor plummeting further and further from “elite” status all season long… Zach Nichols.

Leroy and Zach entered this season in the same place in my eyes. Both were young stars with tons of potential. Both had made Finals appearances, but fallen short of ultimate victory thus far in their young careers. However, from there things couldn’t have diverged more for these two. Zach has allowed his fits of roid rage to get the best of him time and again as he berated and criticized Jonna (who is honestly not the worst partner. She’s solidly middle class). His Politickal bungling got Bananas eliminated and got him ostracized from his former alliance (an act that in all likelihood will even have negative repercussions for Thor in future seasons). And now he got himself knocked off the show in a Dome that involved swinging a sledgehammer against an opponent with one hand… His career and reputation may have been irreparably damaged here. He has never bothered to learn from Challenge History like Leroy, and tries to brute force his way to victory, which hasn’t worked yet, and likely never will.

Kenny and Evan may be gone from the Challenge forever, but their legacies and strategies still live on in both the Old Guard (Wes, Bananas) and the New Generation (Leroy). This game is hard, but its not difficult to understand. The perfect winning strategies are already known. The playbook is written. Its just a matter of getting your head straight, and following the plays, something that Leroy has apparently figured out, and Zach evidently never will.

So with that said, let’s get to some Power Rankings.

ELIMINATED:

Thomas and Hailey

Final Rank: 13

Preseason Rank:11

Dustin and Jessica

Final Rank: 12

Preseason Rank: 9

Disqualified: CT and Diem

Final Rank: 11

Preseason Rank: 5

Knight and Jemmye

Final Rank: 10

Preseason Rank: 10

JJ and Simone

Final Rank: 9

Preseason Rank: 13

Adam and Brittany

Final Rank: 8

Preseason Rank: 4

Johnny and Averey

Final Rank: 7

Preseason Rank: 8

Exiled:

Zach and Jonna aren’t gone yet, and they provide the first real test Bananas and Nany will have to face in exile, but at this point I have no confidence in them. I can’t imagine them being the ones to prevent Bananas from reclaiming his birthright.

Current Rank: 6

Change From Last Week: -3

Preseason Rank: 6

They destroyed Boston Johnny and Averey at digging balls out of graves, so that was cool I guess. But I think we can all agree that the we’re just waiting to see Bananas eviscerate the paper tiger that is Zach Nichols, and make his triumphant return to the Challenge House next week.

Current Rank: 5

Change From Last Week: +1

Preseason Rank: 1

Live and Kickin’

As much as I may hate it Jay and Jenna have won the “corpse lottery” and will likely be competing in a Finals regardless of whether or not they deserve it. I have nothing else to say here. I am disgusted to put them in the Top 4. They’re terrible, but they’re going to the Final…

Current Rank: 4

Change From Last Week: +1

Preseason Rank: 12

A miserable Challenge performance for these two, but they more than redeemed themselves with that Dome showing. Zach and Jonna may have been in a long, painful meltdown for several episodes now, but they are still and incredibly strong team, and the fact that Jordan beat Thor at hammer swinging with only one hand? Spectacular. I still hate Jordan and wish him nothing but ill will. And I still want to see Sarah win one of these, but I’m starting to lose faith. They’re not peaking at the right time, and Sarah has been showing signs of mental fatigue for along time. We’ll see if they recover here for the final stretch, but for now I can’t jump them any higher than #3.

Current Rank: 3

Change From Last Week: +1

Preseason Rank: 3

I won’t bore you with any more Leroy stuff, but I really think he’s about to make the leap, and Nia is by no means dead weight like I feared. They’re peaking at the perfect time, and I would take them against anyone in a final at this point.

Current Rank: 2

Change From Last Week: 0

Preseason Rank: 7

However….

That Politickal mastery was just too much. Wes somehow convinced Leroy (who hates him by the way) to back-stab Zach (who Wes was supposed to be protecting), but also convinced him to take 100% of the blame on himself (even when directly confronted about it by Zach) in order to protect Wes WHILE LEROY AND NIA WERE SUPPOSED TO BE THE POWER COUPLE!!!! What?!?!?!?! Pure mastery. I have no idea how he pulled this off. PLUS Leroy even knew Wes was playing him and said so to Wes’s face BUT DID IT ANYWAY!!! AND WES LAUGHED IN LEROYS FACE ABOUT IT AND. HE. STILL. DID. IT. I’ve just never seen something like this before. It’s absolutely astounding. I always thought Evan had the best Politicks in Challenge history, but after that clinic Wes put on I can’t see how you could put anyone ahead of him at this point. It’s just a shame that Bananas is likely coming back to throw a wrench in Wes’s plans to achieve ultimate victory. He has the best female partner this season with Theresa, but Wes isn’t anywhere near his physical peak from a few seasons ago. They’re the front runners for now, but in a Final anything can happen. We’ll just have to wait and see if he can put up the physical game to match his expert Politicks and close this thing out.

Current Rank: 1

Change From Last Week: 0

Preseason Rank: 2

Politicks: The Backdoor Dealing That Makes The Challenge Run

Two of the best Politickers in Challenge history, whispering sweet nothings into one another’s ears. Some dangerous pillow talk right there folks.

So I’ve used a term frequently in these Challenge blogs that makes me look like an idiot who can’t spell. And while I won’t necessarily deny that that may be the case, I’d like to explain my word choice quickly, and this week’s episode seemed to be a perfrect time to do so. The phrase in question here is my decision to spell Politicks with a “k” and capitalize it to make it a proper noun.

Now, both of these references are a shout out of sorts to 19th/20th century political mastermind and Empire builder Otto Von Bismarck.

Now, as I’m sure you remember from your high school European History classes, this crotchety old man is credited with carving the German Empire out of a collection of divided principalities. Moreover, he is often (unfairly) blamed for causing World War One BUT for the sake of our discussion, the most important thing about Big Otto is the fact that he is credited with the crafting the concept of Realpolitik. Now, you will again remember from your high school European history class that Realpolitik is a concept which hinges primarily on the idea that nations, as individuals, are strictly and should strictly be out for themselves. They can cooperate with others in so far as it serves their own purposes, but at the end of the day all that matters is their own success or failure and their power to achieve their desired ends.

Sound familiar? It should because our beloved Challenge Competitors spout that kind of stuff off constantly. “I gotta do what’s best for me in this game.” “I’m just here to win and I gotta do whatever it takes to get me to the Final” etc etc. What I think these Challengers are doing when they talk about “politics” in the game is attempting to play Bismarckian Realpolitik, which is why I use the term “Politick” to discuss their amateurish political machinations. The capital P makes the term a proper noun, in the German style, thus hinting back to Bismarck. The addition of a “k” at the end of the word “politic” is a throwback to the word “Realpolitik” and the decision to leave it a “ck” is to tie to to Bismar”ck”‘s own last name. So there ya go. I’m not a terrible speller, I’m just a wannabe clever wordsmith. Add that all together and you get all the influences and origins of my idea of Challenge Politick, Politicking, and Politicks.

However, while I use this term to discuss all politics on the show, that doesn’t mean everyone is doing it right, as this episode elucidated for us. Bismarck’s Realpolitik was a notoriously dangerous game that could get the unskillful purveyor into some major trouble. In Bismarck’s time you had many examples of several nations mishandling their poltics while Bismarck himself was thriving.

You had nations such as the Russian Empire who thought they could get by without alliances, without politics, and instead using only their physical might to get by (Leroy). However, as we saw this week with Leroy, playing no Politicks and making no friends often leaves you dangerously exposed in this game, and can get you undeservedly thrown into elimination.

You had newcomers to the game of nation building and international power politics like Italy, making bad deals in an attempt to save themselves now and ‘play with the big boys’ in exchange for certain death later (Jay).

Sure thing Don Corleone, keep talking like you know what you’re doing…

A striking resemblance!

 

And even a once great power such as France allowing their pride to detrimentally affect their politics, before finally making deals with anyone and everyone in an attempt to remain a great power, even as they lose friends left and right (Jordan and Sarah).

Rarely does anyone get to a Final without friends (although if anyone can do it I wouldn’t be surprised if it were Leroy) or Politicks. The Challenge is a cruel game where the strong don’t always survive. Not only do Challengers need to have the physical strength to fall back on, but they also need to be able to summon the specter of strength of skill in order to keep themselves out of potential eliminations. Adam and Brittany were clearly strong competitors as they won 3 Elimination Domes, but they got themselves thrown into 4 Eliminations which proved to be their undoing. Same can be said for Johnny and Averey as they won 2 Domes but lost the 3rd. You can’t go home if you’re never thrown into an elimination, which is one of the reasons Wes and Theresa are riding so high right now.

Jay had the right idea in trying to secure a free pass for he and his partner when he cut a deal with Jordan and Sarah, but he foolishly made an enemy of one of the strongest competitors on the Challenge. Jordan lucked out and benefited from Jay’s stupidity after the Challenge, but his arrogance on Challenge day nearly cost he and Sarah a chance at ultimate victory. Politicks is clearly one of the most important aspects of being a Challenge Winner. Noone is ever sitting on as safe of a perch as they think in the Challenge, and the only way to survive is the skillful deployment of self interest and Bismarckian Realpolitik. It takes more than just enormous guns to come out on top in life (although both Leroy and Germany circa 1914 would have argued differently). Winning the Challenge is like seeing how can fall off a cliff most gracefully, and the biggest key to that equation is deploying your own Politicks better than your opponents.

So with that obviously statement thoroughly exhausted, let’s get to some Power Rankings.

ELIMINATED:

Thomas and Hailey

Final Rank: 13

Preseason Rank:11

Dustin and Jessica

Final Rank: 12

Preseason Rank: 9

Disqualified: CT and Diem

Final Rank: 11

Preseason Rank: 5

Knight and Jemmye

Final Rank: 10

Preseason Rank: 10

JJ and Simone

Final Rank: 9

Preseason Rank: 13

Sad to see them go, but Adam and Brittany put on an absolutely spectacular rookie season. Brittany is now one of my new favorite female competitors. Somehow she remained positive in every single situation. Whether Adam was criticizing her, she was about to be thrown into a dome, or was losing a Challenge she someone remained positive and delightful for the duration of her stay in the Challenge house. While her final Exile competition against Nany was disappointing, I still think she did spectacularly for her first season, and with the crop of females always as weak as it generally is I could really see her having some staying power on this show. Adam was often a paper tiger of sorts, looking a lot tougher than he ultimately proved to be, but his final Exile vs. Bananas was really impressive, and he did win 3 Domes before getting sent home. I can’t wait to see these two back on another Challenge season, and can only hope it comes soon. They definitely won me over all season long.

Final Rank: 8

Preseason Rank: 4

Exiled:

I gotta say, I’m really not enjoying this new delayed system they’ve implemented with the exiles. It made the end of that Johnny and Averey vs. Adam and Brittany Dome anticlimactic, and its screwing up my power rankings, not knowing which team actually goes home! But that aside, this is about where I expected Johnny and Averey to make their departure. Averey was impressive in domes this year, and Johnny continues to be a strong mid tier competitor, but I never expected them to win this thing. Boston Johnny got lucky to make the finals of Free Agents (should have been CT) but he definitely has a future on this show. Even though it likely won’t be this season, as I can only imagine Bananas will absolutely decimate him in the Johnny vs. Johnny Exile Challenge next week.

Current Rank: 7

Change From Last Week: -1

Preseason Rank: 8

Nothing much to say here. Another impressive exile win, and another exile victory on the horizon with Boston Johnny and Averey up next on the chopping block. Basically we’re all just watching these Exile webisodes to kill time until Bananas and Nany make it back to the Challenge House and start homiciding all over people’s faces. (Yes I’m using that as a verb… deal with it… )

Current Rank: 6

Change From Last Week: +2

Preseason Rank: 1

Live and Kickin’

Not even a Challenge win could change the fact that these two are far and away the weakest team left in this thing. They had a real opportunity with that win to try and steal a finals trip from somebody, but somehow Jay royally screwed everything up. Jay… Jordan straight up told you he was going to throw you in against Boston Johnny (because Boston Johnny could beat you, but couldn’t beat anyone else left in the house currently). Then you bought his bullshit about saying he wasn’t going to send you in, and instead you cut a deal with them? Ugh. Throwing Jordan in would have been so obvious and easy… and you could have offered that “I save you, you save me” deal to anyone else in the house. Then you compound that mistake by throwing in LEROY of all people? You KNOW Leroy is better than Boston Johnny and he’s OBVIOUSLY going to come back meaning you have a guaranteed enemy in the house, moron. If you send Jordan in against Johnny there’s at least a chance that Boston Johnny upsets Jordan and wins (especially in that particularly Dome where not having a second hand would have likely lost it for Jordan). Jay, you are a moron, and even though I’ve liked you all season, that despicable debacle completely lost me. I hope you go home next week, and end this charade already.

Current Rank: 5

Change From Last Week: +2

Preseason Rank: 12

I dropped Jordan and Sarah anther slot in the rankings for a couple reasons. First and foremost is Jordan’s stupidity. This guy is just an ass and I can’t imagine it won’t come back to bite them eventually. It almost cost them a trip to the Dome this week, and I can only imagine it will rear its ugly head again soon. The other reason, however, is that they’re quickly running out of real friends in the house. The game is rapidly shifting gears away from the early season “alliance system” to the late game “everyone for themselves” model. As far as I can see, 4 of the remaining 5 couples in the house are good enough to make it to a final, plus you have Bananas and Nany coming back at some point. Moreover, as Evan and Kenny taught us back in the day, you want to drag the weakest team possible (Jay and Jenna) into a final with you so you have someone easy to beat and can’t possible fall any lower than second. That means some of these top level teams will be going home before the final, and if Jordan is going to continue to be an arrogant prick, I have a sneaking suspicion his name will be on everyone’s tongue come Dome time.

Current Rank: 4

Change From Last Week: -1

Preseason Rank: 3

Zach and Jonna jumped up one slot in the rankings not because they did anything right, but mainly because they weren’t yelling at each other this week, and didn’t screw anything up. If these two just keep their heads together they could easily back their way into a Final. However, with Zach’s roid rage theres no telling when they’ll meltdown and self destruct. I highly doubt they’ll win this thing, but there’s still a chance.

Current Rank: 3

Change From Last Week: +1

Preseason Rank: 6

BEAST! BEAST MODE! DOMINANCE! Leroy is fantastic. I have nothing to say here. I mean… I was very disappointed with Nia’s performance in that Dome. This is the second time in her Challenge career she’s made us sit through a 2 hour elimination [the other was against Cara Maria in that rope pulling challenge on Free Agents last season] because her stamina is garbage (probably cuz she’s suckin’ down heaters like they’re soda pop off camera) so that is definitely a concern, but Leroy himself is just a monster, and that’s all there is to it. Also, I cannot freaking wait to watch how miserable Leroy makes Jay’s life from this point onward.

Current Rank: 2

Change From Last Week: 0

Preseason Rank: 7

But even with that second Dome win, Leroy hasn’t done enough to pass Wes and Theresa. Just like with Adam and Brittany and Johnny and Averey, too many Elimination appearances, even when they come with victories, is always a sign of an imperiled team. Wes and Theresa, on the other hand, have avoided every Dome so far. They’ve won a few power couples. They’ve sent their biggest threat to victory home (they think). Everything is going their way, and noone has done anything yet to make me think otherwise. I won’t say what I think might happen when Bananas comes back, but for now Wes and Theresa are on top of the world.

Current Rank: 1

Change From Last Week: 0

Preseason Rank: 2

When Wanting it isn’t Good Enough: The Sarah Rice Story

Another episode in the books and yet another new power couple. This time around we have our Preseason #3 team Jordan and Sara. Now, Jordan and Sara are an interesting group. Both are seen as top tier competitors, but neither have achieved much in the game. Jordan’s case, however, is a little stronger as far as Up-and-comer/top tier. He came to us via 2013’s Real World: Portland meaning he is an incredibly ‘young’ Challenge competitor.

That being said, in his 2 years of Challenge eligibility he hasn’t missed a show yet. He’s three for three, having appeared on Rivals II, Free Agents, and now Battle of the Exes II. Moreover, he even made a Final in his first ever appearance on Rivals II which explains all the hype surrounding him season by season (admittedly propagated primarily by Jordan himself…). However, he appears to be regressing at this early stage in his career after knocking himself out of Free Agents by moronically throwing himself into elimination against Johnny Bananas.

Jordan’s decision to flip every Kill Card in Free Agents was an iconic Challenge moment that will immortalize him, and go down in Challenge lore, but it was undeniably stupid.

In fact, on Free Agents he may have been eclipsed by his Portland castmate Boston Johnny (Reilly). Boston Johnny wasn’t invited on to Rivals II, but did appear on Free Agents, made it to a final, and even finished 2nd (Jordan finished 3rd in his Final appearance) meaning Johnny has accomplished more than Jordan in less time, and took home a hefty chunk of change for his troubles ($35,000 to Jordan’s $8,000). However, I’m not willing to call Jordan a bust yet. His Politicks are garbage, he makes too many enemies too quickly, and he thinks he’s better at this game than he is, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t good. And say what you want about his lucky Finals appearance but he did still make a Final which is more than a lot of people can say. Sarah’s story, on the other hand, is slightly different.

Sarah came to us from Real World: Brooklyn and won me over from the very start of her Challenge career on The Ruins when she informed us that she only tried out for The Real World because she wanted to be on The Challenge. A woman after my own heart I tell ya.

I hate Jordan, but I’ll be rooting for Sarah the whole way this time. She’s not a part of my beloved Old Guard, but she looked up to them the same way I always did, and ingratiated herself to some of my favorites when she finally got the opportunity to come on the show and meet them. She’s like a bridge back to the Challenge glory days that I love. Hell, when she first showed up on the Challenge she even struck up a short-lived romance with Mr. Beautiful himself, Kenny Santucci.

 

So beautiful… so beautiful (Image via Kenny’s twitter https://twitter.com/kennysantucci )

I like to think she’s the kind of competitor I would be if I were on the show and weren’t as vulnerable as a snowflake in a furnace. And let me tell you, unlike me she is a strong competitor especially on the female side of things. Right now we’re in a bit of a boon for female competitors [with Laurel and Emily Schromm being two of the best female contestants this show has ever seen], but Sarah is still one of the best. She’s physically strong and big, meaning she can push a lot of these chain smoking twigs that come on the show around. Her Politicks are always solid (she learned from the best in Kenny and Evan). So she has all the makings of a dominant compeitor. And yet? Zero Challenge wins in her 7 [SEVEN!!!] season career (Exes 2 makes her 8th season).

Sarah has been on The Ruins, Fresh Meat II, Cutthroat, Rivals, Battle of the Exes, Battle of the Seasons, Rivals II, and now Battle of the Exes II. Since her Challenge Debut in 2009 she has missed a grand total of ONE Challenge (Free Agents). Other than that she has competed on every single one of them. So clearly she’s backing up that talk about wanting to be on the Challenge. And if you watch her compete you can tell that she clearly wants to win. It just hasn’t happened yet. So why? Partners. That’s why.

After talking with Bananas and Wes at their Power Couple dinner, Jordan and Sarah seemed to be on top of the world. And Sarah commented multiple times to Jordan that “this game is so much better when you have a good partner.” Because really, she hasn’t yet. Of her seven previous Challenges all of them were either pair or team Challenges and none were individual Challenges. (She missed her one shot at an individual Challenge with Free Agents). Three were Team Challenges and four were Partner Challenges.

Her 3 Team Challenges went like this. There was The Ruins where she was part of the “Challengers” team. The other team? The “Champions” team. This thing was stacked. Evan, Kenny, and Bananas on one team? Versus a bunch of Challenge Rookies, and career long losers? No thanks. No wonder she didn’t win one there, but she was still one of only 2 members of the “Challenger” team still alive when the Final rolled around so we knew she was good.

When you’ve got these two conniving lovebirds on a team against you, you know it won’t end well

The next one was Cutthroat which turned out to be Sarah’s best shot at a title yet. She was on the Grey team lead by Challenge Valhalla member Abram who nearly led his team to victory, but they were upset in end by the Veteran laden team of Brad, Tori, Tyler and Dunbar.

In Battle of the Seasons RW: Brooklyn got third place and Sarah was again left short of victory. So if her team competitions weren’t totally unsuccessful, but left her short of gold, how were her Partner Challenges? Well… those were a disaster…

It all started with Fresh Meat II where Landon and Carly absolutely steamrolled the whole competition. Sarah [along with everyone else] never stood a chance, but even if the wrecking ball that is Landon hadn’t been there Sarah’s partner wouldn’t have carried her far anyway. Vinny showed up to The Challenge with world’s of promise but proved to be as soft as the Stay Puff Marshmellow man… and eventually became as fat as him too…

On Rivals she was paired with her Brooklyn castmate Katelyn who was honestly one of the worst Challenge competitors I have ever seen. Just abysmal. No shot for the two of them from jumpstreet.

Then, on Battle of the Exes she got to run back her performance with Vinny… or rather with some individual who apparently ate Vinny… so that didn’t end well…

Next came Rivals II where she got stuck with Trishelle who quit in Episode 3 meaning that Sarah (with no partner to compete with) had to go home as well.

But now… finally… after a career of disappointment and inferior teammates… here Sarah is with Jordan. A Finals competitor and truly a top tier caliber partner. He’s the not best she could hope for because he comes with an enormous target on his arrogant chest, but hey, they won a Daily Challenge and became the Power Couple on last week’s episode, so something is clearly clicking. This will be Sarah’s best chance to win one of these things. Sarah the Superfan. Sarah the girl who went on the Real World just so she could be a part of the Real World // Road Rules Challenges. Sarah has always wanted this more than her opponents, but that has never mattered before. Bad luck and bad teammates have dragged her down. Now here’s to hoping that Jordan doesn’t do the same one last time, but can keep himself together long enough to help her into the promised land.

It won’t be easy for the two of them to dance their way between the dueling Titans of Bananas and Wes. And the political tightrope they started walking with those dinner conversations last week could easily come back to bite them, but it will be exciting to see if the #3 seeded dark horse can pull it off, and if Sarah can accomplish the one goal she hasn’t been able to accomplish yet on The Challenge.

So on that note, on to the power rankings.

ELIMINATED

Thomas and Hailey

Final Rank: 13

Preseason Rank:11

Welp… so much for their Royal Rumble style run to the top. Did not expect them to lose this week considering their competition, but so be it.

Final Rank: 12

Change from Last Week: 0

Preseason Rank: 9

DISQUALIFIED

I’ve already addressed my larger thoughts on this issue elsewhere, but it was certainly sad to see CT and Diem go. Especially considering how well they were both competing. I think they really had a chance to win it all, but I guess the Fairy Tale ending was too much to ask for.

Final Rank: 11

Change from Last Week: -8

Preseason Rank: 5

EXILED

I was incredibly pleased to see them finally knocked out. I wanted it week 1 but I guess I’ll take it Week 3 if I have to. But then they went and won an exile!!! I still think they’re a horrendous team. They hate each other and have 0 outstanding physical gifts or anything that I would imagine them pulling through. Maybe they’ll force another upset next week in Exile, but I don’t expect them to be in the running much longer.

Current Rank: 10

Change from Last Week: +1

Preseason Rank: 13

LIVE AND KICKIN’

Nothing new to report here. Jay and Jenna are not a strong team, but they still technically have Zach “looking out for them” in some way I guess, and up until now there have been too many weak teams floating around for them to get themselves thrown in. I do, however, expect them and the next couple teams to be on the chopping block moving forward.

Current Rank: 9

Change from Last Week: +1

Preseason Rank: 12

Well… they were… kindof OK in that Challenge I guess… I mean… it was certainly distressing to see Knight not help Jemmye at all… Ya… I mean there’s no positive way to spin this, they’re going to self destruct eventually.

Current Rank: 8

Change from Last Week: +1

Preseason Rank: 10

So normally if you win an Elimination Round I’ll bump you up in the rankings for your effort. HOWEVER, when you look as bad as Adam and Brittany did when doing such an easy Elimination you’re just lucky to not drop in the rankings. Not to mention the fact that the Veterans have clearly found their first “Rookie Scapegoat” team of the season… There is always one team that gets thrown in repeatedly  in order to protect Politicks elsewhere in the house, and Adam and Brittany, thanks to their miserable Week One performance are this year’s first Lamb to the Slaughter. They’ll likely have to face an Elimination every single week from here until they go home. Unless they somehow become the power couple. Which I doubt will happen considering the drama they’re about to create for themselves after that foreboding bar makeout at the end of last week’s episode.

Current Rank: 7

Change from Last Week: +1

Preseason Rank: 4

Johnny and Averey really didn’t do anything impressive this week to go with their solid Dome performance last week. They don’t seem to work well together, and honestly I would have liked to drop them a spot, but I just couldn’t justify putting them behind Adam and Brittany now that they’re the designated Scapegoat. Hopefully things improve for them, but I’m skeptical.

Current Rank: 6

Change from Last Week: +1

Preseason Rank: 8

Nothing much new to add here, but I still don’t like the idea of Zach and Jenna. Smells like drama and a thunderous downfall for Challenge Thor is forthcoming. Number one rule of the Challenge, Zach: Don’t fall in love on the Challenge.

Current Rank: 5

Change from Last Week: +1

Preseason Rank: 6

Welcome to the Big Four Leroy and Nia. Admittedly they’re only here because of CT and Diem’s unfortunate early departure, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t deserving of being near the top. They’ve caused no drama this far so their Politicks (or lackthereof) are going strong. Leroy is a top competitor, and Nia… is… uhhh… Nia… So anyway they could easily get bumped out of the Top Four in the coming weeks, but for now here’s where they stand.

Current Rank: 4

Change from Last Week: +1

Preseason Rank: 7

Another week without a Power Couple win, and I had to drop Wes and Theresa. I honestly don’t think they’ll stay here long (not that being 3rd is anything to scoff at) but they need to keep up the effort or things could turn on them a lot quicker than they expect. Already 2 of Wes’s Rookie Fodder teams are out of the house, and Theresa isn’t making any friends for the pair of them. Not to mention the fact that whatever Double Agent Trickery Sarah is trying to pull, we know when push comes to shove she’ll pick Bananas over Wes. Probably nothing to worry about here, but I don’t think Wes and Theresa are as safe this week as they were last.

Current Rank: 3

Change from Last Week: -1

Preseason Rank: 2

The new kids on the block making a power move! A Power Couple win, a chance to do some Politickal manuevering with the Two Titans of this season, and Jordan seems to be keeping his big mouth shut for the time being. Moreover, after hearing their dinner conversation, Sarah might have even been able to beat some sense into his thick skull to keep his Banana hatred locked down for the time being. All in all things are looking spectacular for these two at the moment. However, I can’t seem to shake the eerie feeling that Sarah is sitting on top of a powder-keg primed to blow any second. There is no way they can play this dual game of Bananas vs. Wes for too long, and I have my doubts that Jordan can keep his mouth shut for an entire season. Things are going to blow up for them eventually, I just hope they’re strong enough to weather the storm when it happens.

Current Rank: 2

Change from Last Week: +2

Preseason Rank: 3

But your once and future King and Queen remains the Banana man and his leading lady. Nany is already showing some signs of cracking (going back to last week) and is clearly a weaker link that I thought she was coming into the season. I had a lot of faith in her after her Finals appearance on Free Agents, but Bananas might have more work ahead of him than I thought. I highly doubt they’re on pace for an Elimination anytime soon, but a fall in the rankings could come if they don’t shore up the cracks. For now though they’re still on top.

Current Rank: 1

Change from Last Week: 0

Preseason Rank: 1

Goodbye Diem Brown

So that was it. CT and Diem were disqualified from Battle of the Exes II for a medical emergency as Diem was rushed back to America. It kindof makes me wonder why Diem even competed in this Challenge at all if she was so close to the edge. Not that I wish she hadn’t. In fact it was really good to see her again. And it felt even better to see her and CT doing so well in the competition. I have no idea what would have happened if they stuck around, but after seeing them finish in 2nd and 3rd in their two Challenge Days I can’t believe they wouldn’t have been sniffing around a title.

In the end, however, its not to be. CT and Diem went home, and Diem, for one, is never coming back.

CT and Diem were absolutely great together this season. There was none of the past drama that has plagued them, and CT could not have looked like a more supporting partner. That hasn’t always been the case. Their MTV stories are so tightly intertwined that, for better or worse, they have always been more or less inseparable. CT cracked a joke to Bananas as he was packing up to leave that “normally the only reason I go home this early is because I socked somebody” references his Duel II fight with Adam which, surprise surprise, was a Diem related incident if you recall. The two really did define one another, and every memorable Challenge moment for either one of them invariably had the other tied in there somewhere.

CT and Diem are Challenge royalty. There will never be another pair like them. It feels like they’ve been around seen the start of the show. CT was on Real World Paris in 2003 and made his Challenge debut on The Inferno in 2004. Diem entered the fold on the original Fresh Meat back in 2006. As fans we only got to see inside their relationship in glimpses. From season to season. If one of them missed a season, no dice, no update. When they were good, we were good and got to enjoy every moment of them together. When they were fighting we had to watch it play out and suffer with them. But we only got to view their relationship through the admittedly tainted and distorted lens that is MTV’s The Challenge.

But what was really the best thing about CT and Diem. What made it really special. Was that in this world of MTV faux celebrities, hyperbole, and imitation life. Where everything is constructed to gain extra airtime and push your own agenda. Where editing is key and can turn any one night stand into an apparently life long romance, or any disagreement into World War Three. What was really special about CT and Diem was just how real they were.

For me personally, it doesn’t really feel like Diem is gone. I can still see her on TV or on online reruns which is as far as our relationship went anyway, but for CT it’s all too real. 

 

Goodbye Diem. You will be missed. And good luck CT. You have thousands of fans who only wish you the best.

The Best Laid Schemes o’ Bananas and Gingers, Often Go Awry

In spite of the preponderance of top male competitors remaining in the field, Wes and Johnny are clearly running the show early on this season. This is no surprise. We all know their politicking was a notch above the rest, and as a result they are one another’s primary targets and primary threats at this early stage in the game. They have now both won a Challenge, and both postured with threats of throwing the other one into an elimination round. However, reason and sense won out in the end and neither power pairing has been thrown into an elimination by the other yet. 

In spite of how sensible that decision is, however, it was surprisingly difficult. We already knew Wes and Johnny hated each other, but they’re both too savvy and experienced to make a power play this early in the game. Their partners, however, don’t seem to see things that way. Our loving latina “Gonzalez sisters” Theresa and Nany have already decided they hate each other (eased along by Theresa’s past actions on Free Agents especially) and have decided they want to go at each other’s throats. While this is all well and good for the drama of the show, it isn’t exactly making Wes or Johnny’s jobs easier. It is absolutely spectacular to me to see those two forced to switch from posturing and empty threats to immediate damage control to keep things from spilling over and causing an early exit for one or both teams.

Approximate reenactment of events.

Wes’s downfall is always and has always been the decision of the other competitors to pick off his rookie minions one by one, depleting his armor until he finally stands alone. And because he never truly cares about protecting his rookies he always let’s this happen, and sometimes willingly offers up his rookies in secret deliberations in order to save himself. Not exactly the most savory technique, but it works for a while. However, it won’t work forever and never does. I’m not too worried for Wes’s survival yet. Especially when he and Theresa were so close to winning that ludicrous challenge (and honestly should have won), but Bananas has taken the first of many steps toward chopping Wes down to size.

This time around, however, he may have another problem is his own partner doesn’t quit starting fires around the house. I’ve seen Johnny control crazy partners before, but can’t recall Wes being put to the same test. In fact, in Rivals II it often seemed like CT who was keeping Wes in check, rather than the other way around. Theresa is undeniably a strong partner to have when it comes to physical competition. Her politicks, however, remind me of old Johnny Bananas the bumbling villain rather than his new form as a modern day MTV Otto von Bismarck. She just tries the “nice to your face, lie behind your back” stuff which never works. It is too purely motivated by greed and selfishness, and always backfires as it currently is with Nany.

Now, normally this wouldn’t be a problem for Theresa as there are only a handful of female competitors on this show superior to her physically, but this time around her picking on Nany is going to bring Bananas into the fight, and could spell ruin for her team. She has a great opportunity to learn from one of the best schemers in Challenge history with Wes on her team. Last episode she did not seem to want to learn from him as he pleaded with her to apologize to Nany, and she sat silent like a petulant child. She’ll have to fix this attitude problem and start learning a thing or two from Wes if they want to succeed. Its so obvious she wants to win one of these things, and works really hard to put herself in successful positions, but she hasn’t achieved anything yet. She needs to shut up, humble herself, and learn from Wes for the time being. If she does she might turn into one of the most dominant female characters we have. Otherwise her Challenge might be shorter than she would like.

So with that said, let’s take a look at some updated Power Rankings shall we?

ELIMINATED:

No surprises here. I never expected much of them to start the season, and was shocked that Dustin and Jessica ended up going down week one instead of someone like them or JJ and Simone. It all worked out in the end though as Thomas and Hailey were double eliminated this week, losing in both The Dome and in Exile. The only sad part about them leaving in my opinion is that Wes is now short of 2 more minions. O’well though. Better luck next time folks.

Final Rank: 13

Change from Last Week: -3

Preseason Rank: 11

EXILED:

This is much more like what I expected from Dustin and Jessica. I think they’re better than almost every single rookie pair with the exception of Adam and Brittany who they had to face in exile (and honestly should have beaten… they were several rungs ahead of them on that ladder challenge until Jessica toppled them). So anyway I’m happy to see them win in Exile. Also, I absolutely love the Royal Rumble setup for these exile eliminations where Dustin and Jessica will have to run a full gauntlet of 9 teams if they hope to make it back to a Final Challenge. I highly doubt they’ll succeed, but I’m excited to see how long their run lasts.

Current Rank: 12

Change from Last Week: +1

Preseason Rank: 9

LIVE AND KICKIN’:

I have no idea how these two continue to sneak under everyone’s radar, but I am convinced that they are legitimately terrible. They’ll shatter worse than a recent college graduate’s hopes and dreams after they enter the job market as soon as someone decides to test them. It’s just a matter of time.

Current Rank: 11

Change from Last Week: +1

Preseason Rank: 13

I’ve said the whole time that I think Jay could actually put on a respectable showing physically on this show, but that I doubted Jenna’s abilities. Now, with Jenna starting a romance with Thor’s nephew Zach you’d think they improved their chances and gained a powerful ally. However, only half of the team-members involved in that love quadrilateral are happy about it. Both Jay and Jonna seem to be out of sorts, and I can only believe Jenna’s actions are going to create enough drama to drag her team down, and maybe even take Zach with them.

Current Rank: 10

Change from Last Week: +1

Preseason Rank: 12

They didn’t do anything to hurt themselves this week, but I still don’t have much faith in the ever-feuding twosome. Their veteran status will carry them a ways, but their hatred is gonna send this house of cards crashing down eventually. Although I did love their comments during the Challenge that “they wouldn’t have to talk to each other so that would help.”

Current Rank: 9

Change from Last Week: 0

Preseason Rank: 10

This ranking isn’t about them falling, as it was last week, but rather the next team in our list passing them. Adam and Brittany have done nothing to make me think they’re worthy of the inflated preseason rank I gave them, and Brittany is even starting to get on my nerves. I still have faith they’ll put it together and make a small run eventually, but they’re not final Challenge material. At least not at this point in their young careers.

Current Rank: 8

Change from Last Week: -1

Preseason Rank: 4

Johnny and Averey had an impressive Dome win over hapless Thomas and Hailey. I’ve got all the faith in the world in Boston Johnny after his surprise Finals appearance last season, but Averey I still question. She took FOREVER to complete her half of the elimination challenge, and only succeeded because Hailey completely failed to move on. However, I do give her props for accomplishing a difficult task, as countless girls on this show can’t even do that, so there’s hope here. I’m just not sure there’s enough hope for them to upset any of the teams ahead of them.

Current Rank: 7

Change from Last Week: +1

Preseason Rank: 8

Thor and his partner dropped thanks to the time honored tradition on the Challenge of ‘trouble in the bedroom.’ Zach is breaking the #1 rule of The Challenge (given to us by Johnny Bananas himself): NEVER FALL IN LOVE ON THE CHALLENGE. There is no way this Jenna fling can end well for him, and it only makes things worse that his jealous partner is now making out with Jay just to make herself feel better about it. Troubling seas ahead for The Great Viking.

Current Rank: 6

Change from Last Week: -1

Preseason Rank: 6

Zach’s loss is Leroy’s gain. I think the two are about equal in terms of physical strength so the only way to differentiate them (normally) is through their political standing in the house. Normally the edge here goes to Zach because Leroy flatly refuses to politick (something I’ve always admired in him as it reminds me of the old CT), but this time around since Zach is actively hurting his political standing, Leroy’s neutral stance wins out. I still can’t put them in the Hallowed Top Four because I don’t trust Nia in a Dome Elimination, but they’re in pole position to capitalize if any of the Top Four should stumble.

Current Rank: 5

Change from Last Week: +1

Preseason Rank: 7

Jordan and Sarah dropped a spot this week, but I don’t think it’s really anything to be concerned about. They’re still one of the strongest teams out there in terms of both male and female rankings. They got hit with some tough luck with that ball spinning Challenge considering the fact that Jordan only has one hand, and that type of thing could easily come back to haunt them in crunch time, but I doubt it. So even with a one spot drop I don’t think they have any less of a chance to win the whole thing. They’re still Top Four and have a great chance to make the Finals.

Current Rank: 4

Change from Last Week: -1

Preseason Rank: 3

They leapt over Jordan and Sarah this week to continue their upward trajectory in the rankings largely due to their fantastic performances in Challenges. They finished 2nd (barely missing out on 1st) in Week One, and now they made it to the top three in the Week Two challenge as well. I’ve had my doubts about Diem’s abilities for years, and her sickness only further shook my faith, but if her and CT keep putting up these amazing finishes (narrowly missing out of victory each team) I’ll have no choice but to reconsider. Already I think Diem is one of the top female competitors after her performances thus far, and we all know CT is a monster in these things so if they can keep it up I foresee nothing but success for these two.

Current Rank: 3

Change from Last Week: +1

Preseason Rank: 5

They BARELY lost the Challenge this week so they’re obviously still near top dog status, but unfortunately the team they lost to was the only team outranking them last week, so I can’t move them up. Moreover, if Theresa doesn’t get her act together and start playing safer Politicks these two will be in trouble. For now though I still consider them one of the frontrunners to bring down the whole thing. The only problem is theres one team still ahead of them…

Current Rank: 2

Change from Last Week: 0

Preseason Rank: 2

… the King still sits atop his Banana Throne. They narrowly won a Challenge this week, putting them into Power Couple status which is always a plus. However, Nany has apparently turned nearly the whole female side of the house against her which if left unaddressed will become a major issue. I have faith that Johnny will straighten everything out though, so for now I guess it reamins “All Hail the Banana King.” Until next time folks.